This is the post excerpt.
She had been broken. neither once nor twice. She swore to shut down each fling thought that surrounded her like a collar on a kids dress. The hate of pain was her strength. She cursed temporary but reals were unreal. She was aching. She wanted company but she never wanted anyone beside her. The girl who wore glasses to see shit more clearly, was falling apart. She was psycho, she was turning to a bitch. She had been through too much, scars from the past reminded her of the other side of love, hate. They had all presented themselves in crowds, ready to embrace her and collet the tiny little pieces of her broken peace. It was a job well done. They all wanted something more, they wanted to fit in, in the puzzle of her broken peace. Cuddling her fluffy bunny a everyday as the nights crept in. When they showed interest, she had a way of turning them down. A couple of dates aligned at least two in a day, but no, she hated them. She promised never to fall again. She had fallen twice and a third fall would send her to an early grave. She was becoming an earth woman of another generation in the 21st century. It was not going to be easy but she was willing to give it her best shot. Shyness has never been her thing, but she pulled it out amazingly. She was becoming stronger as the days went by. She opted to start up a business but her friends hated progress. They didn’t want to sacrifice even a dime. The love she had for them was slowly turning to something the wise men call hate. She was becoming bitter but one of her friends stuck by her side. She was there to help, she knew that lighting another person’s candle was at no cost. They all say a friend in need is a friend indeed, that’s what Gave her the strength of being wise. She was becoming aware of the friendly vipers who hissed in the corner of his soul. She had been trapped in a concun of fakeness, misery and despise, but she believed in herself. That was in the past, now she’s turned on a new leaf, it’s the beginning of her new story. She’s determined to make it in this life. Will she really make it? Is this just another dream? Is this a mere fantasy??
Dear future soulmate.
I’d start by thanking God for bringing you into my life. On our wedding day, while standing at the altar, I will whisper this to you ”You didn’t just find a wife, you found a best friend, your ride or die, your forever soulmate, I will live to prove that God had a reason for our union. I love you so much”. However, there are some things you need to know. I’m not an easy person to deal with. You won’t see a happy smiley face every single day you wake up. I don’t handle stress too well, I’m emotional, crying is my weakness. During my periods, I will be cranky, I’ll say cheesy stuff, I’ll just wanna cuddle all day. At times I’ll wake up moody, bored and I’ll feel like I don’t wanna live again. I will have my bad days. I am the type who falls too deep. I’m the kind that will make you late for work because, I’ll find it hard telling you goodbye in the morning. Once I get attached, I get way too clingy and at times it gets annoying. I want to love you for the rest our crazy life together. I like taking pictures, every step of the way, the goofy moments, the sad days, I’ll still store them behind my camera roll. Life’s not going to be easy, there’s a time that we’ll feel like ” the spark is gone” but I pray that the depth of love rooted in our souls never does. You won’t have check out other girls asses as they pass, my body’s a perfect fit, I’ll always dress sexy for you.
I will forever be your friend, your soulmate, the first person you see every morning and the last person you kiss Goodnight every single day of our lives. I’m scared of living with a man because I’ve been broken soo many times that I’ve lost count. I hope you make me see the importance of a man in a woman’s wife. You don’t have to worry about any kind of attention. I’m the kind who’ll stuff you with attention till everybody gets jealous. I will cook for you, I don’t care whether your belly protrudes but there’s no single day you’ll sleep on an empty stomach. On your bad days, I’ll help you through, I’ll act like therapy to your soul. Our home will always sparkle, I’ll clean it, the sitting room will always be neat. A tray of fruits on the table will always be there every time you come from work. Our bedroom will be the most amazing place in our home. Your clothes in the closest will always be well arranged. You don’t have to worry about the crease on your clothes because I’ll always press and iron them. Our beddings will always be clean. A bible beside our bed, we’ll pray together everyday of our lives. There will be times I’ll just stare at you silently. On this days I want you to know that deep inside I’ll be thanking God for bringing you into my life. You won’t have to finance everything in our home. I’ll make sure I get a job and together we’ll support each other as we fall deep in love every single day. I’ve had esteem issues in the past and I hope you help me outgrow my fears love myself even more. You will be bumping onto thank you sticky notes on your shirt and trouser pockets, you’ll see them at work, you’ll smile when you see a smiley face on a sticky note. You will feel loved.
That’s a feeling you’ll forever have by my side. You won’t have to worry about taking care of me, I won’t ask for expensive clothes, expensive shoes, gold earnings, necklaces and handbags. I’m the type that was raised not to order for too much when somebody else is paying. The fact of being your wife scares me, the responsibilities that come with it startle me. None of us will be perfect in this marriage but I pray we embrace the perfection in our imperfections. When our kids start coming in, we’ll learn how to raise them together. It’s my prayer they turn turn out to be the best. When we finally start aging, when the wrinkles can’t be hidden anymore, when the Grey hair starts taking over the hair roots I will be here. I pray we never leave each others side till death do us part.
She has lived in darkness for ages.Not that she was blind or something. The canopy, the dark cloud, there was a shield high above her that wouldn’t let the light in. She wanted to be on company of people. She hated being alone but she learned to live alone. The people who fate brought her to were angels in disguise. They were the back stabbers, the busy bodies and the fakes. She wanted success, she dreamt of success, she worked for success but the teachers in her class only noticed her flaws. She wanted to be saved, she seeked salvation, she knelt down and prayed but each time they saw her in church, they mocked her. She yearned for love, she craved for love, she cried for love. She found it, not once but twice, little did she know it was all a :
Dear best friend.
On the first day of senior school, the teacher on duty said ” No man is an island”, we all need each other, he continued. ” Two heads are better than one”. All that flashbacked to the memories we share. I can’t recall when we exactly met, what you were wearing, the cologne you used, how you had made your hair, but I recall how our first hello felt like.
You and I are living example of what perfect strangers are like. I felt the connection when I first heard him scream out your name. You complete me, you are my soul mate in a very special kind of way. The long conversations about the boys we like, our crushes, it’s all in my soul’s diary. The nights we stay for long, cuddling and crying are not one of the best but being by your side, it feels like paradise. My life’s a puzzle and with you, it’s like you are each missing piece. I still remember how many times you’ve had your heart broken. I felt very honored to be part of your healing process. I still remember how we cried, cursed and got over it just over a weekend.
I can count the days yo period was late. I can confidently say your best meal, how it’s like, how much your tummy can hold. I still recall how my birthdays feel like, the amazing gifts, the happy faces, the huggs, the cuddles, the dances, the laughs, oh no, you are simply the best.I recall the days we came up with our own menus and prepared wild yummy food. I recall how many times we’ve danced like crazy wierdos. The lazy afternoons that we spent sleeping and gossiping are my favorite. They all say real is rare but I feel the luckiest because deep down within I’d have spent a lifetime looking for you but you came in just when I needed you.
You are the only person I trust and can tell you absolutely about anything. Small or big, your listening ear is always ready. I practically don’t wanna find out how this creepy life would have been without you. I find comfort when talking to you, bitch you got some magic, your words are literary a soul healer. You are my personal nurse, doctor, tailor, you don’t need any certificate to prove that because I’m a living proof.
You calm my nerves down, you literary remind me that the bitch in me never never gives up. I recall the days that I felt sad but I didn’t cry because I didn’t want you to cry too. On your wedding day, I’ll be my maid of honor and I shall whisper onto your ear “He might be the love of your life but I’m your soulmate, we are stuck together for life”. I love you more than you’ll ever know.
She was there.
He too was there.
Nothing in common.
The magical space in a room United them.
Only the soul connection deep down.
It was close to the 12th of July.
It was his birthday party.
She was a saint.
She was beautiful.
She was jovial.
Heavens know she was happy.
Dusk crept in, bottles of shampange popped up.
Wines, spirits, every tempting kind of was cool present.
She took some sips,
She was overwhelmed.
Nostalgia clouded her.
She was lost.
She danced the night away.
She slept, she wasn’t alone.
She slept with him.
Was her innocence taken away for granted?
Was a good girl on the verge of getting bad?
Was her life taking a new turn?
Would she ever return?
Her peace was falling into pieces.
Her pot of hope had cracked into pieces.
On the verge of seeking solace.
She found loniless.
She was an extrovert at heart,
But was an introvert at mouth.
She wished everything was different.
She tried to make a difference.
She cried, she lied, she, prayed, she lived.
She worked, she wrote, she read, she tried everything.
Deep down, she knew she was hail.
She knew she was a queen, but acted as a maiden.
She drafted and inked imagination on paper,
She swore to be the expert of the chapters flipping in the mind of her head.
She was an expert of a book she only thought of.
That’s when happiness bloomed.
Her creator’s purpose for her was revealing.
It was real, she lived.
Hers was mystery life of fresh folds.
No tricks, no turns, no remose.
It was a life, more precious than a rose.
Joy and sorrow took turns to embrace.
A life of torture that beared no grace.
In a battlefield of fakes and players,
To her saviour, she dedicated her prayers.
She had too long to a story that’d fill pages,
But she chose to present it on a stage.
Them strangers, yelled, yapped and stared.
Huh, her experience was no joke, she stayed.